I took the Ethics course with Angela today and it brought up for me a specific incident that occured to me. I had been referred by one client to another and the assignment at the 2nd client might involve evaluating their resources, which includes the first client. I felt uncomfortable about this so called the first client and explained the situation. I didn’t want to get in the middle of an uncomfortable situation so it was very helpful to discuss it with the first client.
I came across a book called Co-Active Coaching written by Laura Whitworth which shares much of the same outlooks at ICA. They talk about the power of listenting, the role of the coach and the coachee, and how to use your intuition to listen to what isn’t said etc. I highly recommend it!
I was struck in a recent class by one of the coach’s sincere question in which she wondered if she was to blame when several of her clients decided to end their coaching process with her. Again, we can’t take all of the blame for the coachee’s behavior. I found this model on another student’s blog (yes I’m trying to read other’s blogs) and liked it so wanted to pass it along.
I recently taught a session on “How to handle Difficult Coversations” and included a section on body language. I had the participants stand up and mimic the gestures/postiions I had on the screen and tell me whether they thought they were postiive or negative in their communication. It was easy for everyone to recognize the power of body language – despite that over 50% in the room had English as their second language. I thought I would include some links I found that might help others. http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/body.php But it raises a question, there is such power in seeing the person, how do we replace that visual messaging with just verbal cues? I do think we pay attention in a differnt way when we’re coaching on the phone…we listen for the nuances, the “what was not said” etc. But still is a good thing to consider what we’re missing.
I love when live brings you coincidences….I was just taking the class on accountability and we had a healthy discussion about the role the client plays in taking on accountability. That day I had an interview with a large corporation to have them assess my ability to be a coach. One of the questions they asked was to tell them about a situation I had where the coaching didn’t work. Unfortunatley I did have just that type of situation…where one of my clients just didn’t keep up his end of the bargain – never really did the work inbetween sessions, didn’t seem all that committed to his own success etc. I explained the story to her and she said _ Good answer, as the last person we interviewed said that after 30 years of coaching, he had never had a problem with a client.
I do think it is true that we probably account for 50% of any problem – clearly coaching is a two way process. But we can’t take too much on, in fact the client has to take responsibility for their role as well.
After reading the module on Creating Action, I was pleased to see that a support group is a critical ingredient for success. As a coa;ch this is what we’re offering our clients. As an individaul I have created both a profe;ssional an dpersonal supporty group that is very effective.
Working with my clients I have been emphasising the need to develop theri emotional IQ, that being smart isn’t enough. This is especially true in the corporate world, where getting along with othes, reading others quickly, being politically savvy etc is key. One book that I think is very helpful is Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence. Written about 10 years ago, it is still highly relevant.
Just this week I had two calls from clients with whom I had spoken more than 6 months ago. I have been told to not “badger” clients, just send them an email and a voice mail so that they have your information. Often they come back to it; otherwise you get a “passive rejection” meaning that they will never call you or tell you what happened. On the other hand, sometimes they come back and that makes me laugh!
I am finding that the Advertising and Marketing niche is really fruitful. I agree that often what you receive is what you should do…somehow this is what is coming my way. I’m getting good traction from this area and find it exciting!
One of the best things about starting my own business is being open to new opportunities and the interesting things that come your way. I have really experienced the situation where you put yourself out there by telling the world what you want and seeing the variety of things that come your way. It is very different from having a job and doing the exact same thing every day. I find it exhilerating, and challenging but I think it will be a process that will allow me to find my best work and my best self.